Sunday, March 28, 2010

成长与人生

时间一天一天的飞逝,
真令人感慨直摇头。
一步一脚印,
渐渐地,
我感觉到自己的逐步成长。

成长,
不仅仅在外表上,
对我而言,
内心与思想上的成长才是最重要的。

以前的喜好,
以往爱不释手的可爱物品,
以前所渴望的种种,
现在看来,
感觉好幼稚呢。
也许是心态上的变化,
思想,
成熟了吧!

成长,
让我对诸事都看得开了。
对于未来,
更是充满憧憬与期望。
我期待着下一站的到来,
并要用心去体会人生新的旅程。

成长,
是美妙的,
也是令人期待的。

成长,
让我们学会用不同的眼光看着同样的事物。
我终于明白,
每个人,
在不同年龄的阶段,
看着同样的东西,
同样的人,
会联想到不同的想法,
构成不同的思想。

人的想法,
感觉,
总是随着时间的脚步,
产生变化。
那其中的变化,
是好,
是坏,
当局者,总是最明白。

看见了自己的成长,
我觉得很庆幸。
一件事情的对与错,
好与坏,
我都已看清。
随着经验的累积,
我懂得如何做下决定,
如何拿捏事情的真相,
更懂得如何释怀。

我喜欢现在的自己,
懂得提起,
也懂得放下;
懂得珍惜,
也懂得放弃;
懂得抬头,
也懂得低头。
我珍惜眼前一切美好的事物,
放弃了所有不切实际的虚幻。
我要坚持自己的理想,兴趣和希望,
不会再畏缩,
抬头挺胸,勇往直前,
活出更棒的自己,
更灿烂的人生。

人生的舞台,
正等着我去开演;
广阔的天空,
正等着我去遨游;
波涛的大海,
正等着我去勇闯;
全新的人生,
正等着我去开拓;
手中的幸福,
正等着我去掌握。

我要让自己更坚强,
朝着崭新的未来出发。

幸福与成功,
掌握在自己的掌心里。
如今的我,
不愿再错过,
应该属于自己的一切

Hospital's diaries 2......=)

Finally got time to continue my post..=>
Well..lets continue with the 3rd day....

3rd Day....
So, we went to orthopaedic ward on the 3rd day..It's all about the skeletons and bones..Patients with fractured bones, dengue, diabetes and so on will be settled down at this ward..This ward is divided into male and female ward..I went to the female ward this time..Well, as usual, the scene inside is not much different from the other wards..just that all the patients inside are with broken arms or legs.. Some of them even have legs or arms with screw here and there..i think it is very pain lolz..
In the afternoon, we got the chance to see how the specialist went around the ward to check every of the patients..WOW..it is like a king walking in front and all the houseman are just like the maids follow at the back..lolz..haha..well, i think i will be one them in the future too..XD The specialist was so enjoyed..He even drinking lemon tea while checking his patients..lolz..As he was checking the patients, he questioned the houseman one by one..if they could not answer the questions..they are in BIG trouble then..they will get scolded loudly by the specialist..but so far, we haven't got the chance to see how the specialists scold the houseman..hmm..i am wondering how fierce are the specialists..
So..that's what we observed today..i get to know more bout the houseman's job after this visit..=)

4th day....
Today was an exciting day..know why?? cause we went to FORENSIC today..hoho..=)
But well, ends up nothing to see too..lolz..haha..XD..
The pegawai forensic gave us a short briefing about what forensic is all about..it is kinda interesting to become a forensic specialist though..you will find yourself become CONAN after u step into this field..lolz..haha..XD
Forensic clinic is basically for investigating the cause of death of the patients, victims or so on..they are cooperating with the police to solve a case or problem such as murder cases, raping cases, drowning cases and so on..IT WAS REALLY COOL, ISN'T IT??? =)
Well, what i want to share with all of you is the process of investigating as i think it is really interesting..=)
Basically, the specialists will first take out all the organs of the dead, weight and check one by one to see whether there are any errors in the weight of the dead's organs and to find out the cause of the death..
Then, they will put back the organs into the body of the dead..but u know what??? They just simply put the organs back into the dead's body without arrange it properly..They will just squeeze the organs inside the body wherever they see there are spaces..OH GOSH..is it good for doing so??? For me..it's like they are not respecting the dead..lolz..
One more thing is..for the BRAIN..more pro..they will CUT the brain into SMALL PIECES..(just like cutting meat)..zZ..After that, they will put the pieces of the brain into a plastic bag and then put the bag back into the skull.. YUCKS!! But well, we cant complain much although it is somehow yucky..it's their job, their responsibilities..they have to do it..lolz..
By the way, I SAW CROP!!! whoa!!! But well, only ONE crop and she is put inside the fridge..XD It is an unclaimed crop from Kota Sentosa Hospital..That means that she does not have any family or what to come to the hospital and claim it back..it is pity rite??
In the afternoon, we went to the O&G clinic (clinic for the women). WOW..it is the COOLEST ward we went so far..it is cold inside and the facilities are so much better than the other wards..well, maybe it is because of the newborn babies and the pregnant women..=) haha=>
Inside the ward, there are quite a number of patients..Some with the babies by their sides..but we could not go near to see the babies..lolz..XD So, we just walked around the ward and talked with a houseman and a specialist..Hmm..SAME questions and SAME answers given by the houseman again..i tink i don have to repeat the same things again..lolz..
So, this was the 4th day of our programme =)

5th day...
Time flies..it came to the LAST DAY of the programme..So, we went to A&E this day..the EMERGENCY department.. it can be said as the busiest department in a hospital as all the emergency cases are settled here..A&E are divided into 3 different zones..RED ZONE, YELLOW ZONE and GREEN ZONE.
RED ZONE = The Most Serious Cases
YELLOW ZONE = The Intermediate Cases
GREEN ZONE = The Not Serious Cases
Inside the ward, the doctors are rushing here and there..Soooooooo BuSy with their works..And it was EXTREMELY COLD inside..XD..I am very much interested in this department as i think it is really CHALLENGING working in this department as many different types of emergency cases can be seen here..The doctors working in this department also have to follow the ambulance, going to the accident scenes too..XD So, u can imagine how busy it is...............XD
P.S: As it was the last day, i followed my group friends went Seberkas there eat too..we walked there..quite far though..it took us about 15 minutes to walk there..WEARING HIGH HEELS..pain die my foot..zZ..but well, luckily i could stand it..=)
Afternoon, we went Labour Room..IT WAS REALLY COOL..I get to see the woman giving birth..the scene when the baby's head come out from the uterus and the moment when the newborn babies cry out..OMG..how happy it is!!! =)
As a female, i can imagine how relief and how happy the mother is when the baby is borned..CONGRATZ to all the mothers..=) But anyway..we just get to see little bit though cause the nurses forgot to close the door..haha..=P Actually, we are not allowed to see the process of giving birth as the patients have their own privacy..yea..XD)
Well..it was really...EXCITING..hahaha..XD
Besides, we heard the nurses or doctors kept on shouting Push, Push, Push and the patient's scream..haha..XD IT WAS REALLY PAIN I THINK..Now i can imagine how pain it was when my mum borned me..lolz..THANKS AND SORRY MUMMY =) LOVE U SOOOO MUCHX =P
By the way..i saw four newborn babies today..oh yea..they are EXTREMELY CUTE & SMALL..but so SAD that there was a baby dead upon borned to this world..The baby was covered up by the nurse..at the moment i saw the leg of the baby, well, i know..something bad and unfortunate had happened..feel SO sorry for the mother..it is really sad, isn't it??? Haiz..=( sob..>.<

Time passes really fast, one week just past like that..although we only meet up for one week, but we get to know and make friend with each other..I really have a sweet and memorable time within this week..=) I appreciate it very much!!! =)


So now..I sincerely hope that everyone of us can achieve our dream in future and hopefully we can meet up again in future..perhaps going to the same uni??? haha..XD

ALL THE BEST EVERYONE =)
TAKE CARE & GOOD LUCK =P
MAY ALL OUR DREAMS COME TRUE =)
STAY HAPPY AND SMILE ALWAYS =P




Friday, March 26, 2010

Hospital's Diaries.........

Well well, i had joined the PROGRAM PENDEDAHAN KERJAYA SEORANG DOKTOR organised by JPA from 22th March (Mon) till 26th March (Fri) for this whole weeeeeeeeeeek..I think i am really lucky to be given this chance to join this programme. Guessss what??? there are a total of 76 candidates (mostly straight As students) joining this programme where as last year only bout 30++ of them joining..that means the number of ppl who want to join medic is getting more and more..and one more thing is..most of them are BUMIs..oh gosh..i think i have very low chance for getting the scholarship..lolz..but anyway, no matter i get the scholarship or not..i stil appreciate JPA for giving me this opportunity..=)
So, because of the large number of candidates, we were divided into 6 groups, 12 members each.
Well, number 2 is really MY number..i was in group 2..lolz..and my group members include LOG (the tall leader), TEN, NATASHA, JIMMY, BRIAN, RAHMAT, NISA, SABRINA, LIM, ERICA and REBECCA. (I was seperated from Mal..zz..oh btw, kch high only gt 5 ppl of us that are jeffrey, mal, daniel, yong huey and me) So, my group was really "Satu Malaysia", contain all kinds of races..lolz..but all of them are nice and friendly..XD
Btw, this was a good chance for me to improve my English too as i had to communicate with them in English..haha..XD
So..lets start with the event............=)

1st Day...
We started our journey with Klinik Pakar (Specialist Clinic). Specialist Clinic can be subdivided into many kinds of clinics and we only went to the 4 selected ones that are Orthopaedic, Obstetrics & Gynaelogy, Medical and Surgical. Well, it was the most boring day among the five days. There was nothing to see in the clinics as most of the patients are just going for the follow-up or check-up just like the normal clinic we go to when we are sick..We were wandering and looking here and there, looking at the doctors checking their patients. We got to see how the specialists talk and deal with the patients..and i only realized that housemanships are just like the doctors or the specialists' maid, doing whatever their boss asking without any complain..So, we just stood aside there waiting for the specialists as they were really very very very busy. We only got the chance to interview the specialists after they finally finished dealing with the patients..And, the results of the interview are as follow :~
(1) Become a doctor is VERY STRESS, PRESSURE, BUSY, NO time, have to SACRIFICE alot including our family, friends, freedom, life ESPECIALLY during housemanships..lolz..
(2) Doctor's life = NO LIFE
Well, most of the doctors are discouraging us from becoming a doctor. Most of them especially the young housemanships are regretted too..They kept on telling us how hard it is to become a doctor..they told us the way the specialists scolded them loudly infront of the patients. Some specialists even scolded them those "bad words" infront of everyone..Many of the housemanships even quit as they could not stand the pressure..and some even cry out..
Well, after this day, my mind and heart were kinda influenced by their words. I thought of changing my dream and career. What they said are really SO DISCOURAGING!!!...Are they purposely wanna scare us or is it the truth of becoming a doctor?? It sounds like so tough and scary..lolz..>.< 2nd Day...
Yea, we went to klinik pembedahan (surgical clinic) this day. Surgical clinic includes 4 sections,that are general surgery, hepatology, urology and plastic surgery. Besides, it contains 3 wards that are male surgical ward, female surgical ward and neurosurgical ward. So, we were further divided into 3 small groups and i went to the male surgical ward. Inside the ward, all kind of patients are lying on the bed. The scene are totally different from the one we went yesterday and it is the scene that we usually see in tv shows. The nurse explained to us about the ward and gave us advices about the career as a doctor. She also introduced us to some of the houseman. It's great that most of the housemans are CHINESE and they are mostly GIRLS..lol..=) btw, i realized that all the houseman in the hospital are so pretty =) haha..=) So, we started to ask them questions about doctor's life and what they usually do as a doctor..well, we got the same answers from them, that are regret, stress, no life, no time and so on that i had mentioned before..oh well well well, i can memorize the answer already after listen so many times..lolz..
And, one more thing is..all of the doctors for sure asking us a question that is :~
WHY DO U WANT TO BECOME A DOCTOR???
Well, last time, maybe i could answer you ask fast as possible, but if u ask me this question now..i am sorry that i don know what should be my answer..lolz..know why??
(1) If you say it is your interest...well, the doctor will answer u, interest is not enough for u to become a doctor..ZZZ
(2) If you say you want to earn money...well, the doctor wil answer u, sorry, if u want to earn money, please dont step into this field, you should go engineer, pharmacy, business man and others and doctor is DEFINITELY NOT a job for earning money..LOLZ
(3) If you say you want to save life and help people...well, the doctor wil ask you better go become a social worker or just donate money for the hospital, no need to become a doctor..SWT
(4) If you say you want to have a better life...well, the doctor will tell you..sorry, become a doctor will not have a better life, instead, u will have NO LIFE...faintz..
So, if u are me, what will be your ans now??? I reli hate this question now..lolz..it's time for me to come out with a good answer dy..XD
Oh yea, i was totally influenced by a patient while i went to the neurosurgical ward and he is the one who have changed back my mind and be determined to become a doctor..
He is Nelson, a bumi..He is younger than me one year and he is involved in an accident. He injured his head and his skull is cracked and his brain fluid flow out. He lost his memory and his body cant move at all after that. But, after the treatment, he is getting better now. He is now able to move his hand after going through the physiotherapy. Although he is very pain, but he does not give up at all. He tries his best to recover. When he saw us, he even thumb up his finger to show us that he is fine. I was so touched and i felt so sorry after seeing his condition. I even saw how the physiotherapist treated him. At that moment, i was totally awakened and only then i know how noble the doctors are..Although become a doctor is really very hard but when u see how the patients thank you and appreciate all your hardworks, you will forget how much effort, time and energy you have put in and u will feel so satisfying after the patients recover..
So, that are what i had learned after seeing Nelson..and i have made up my mind now..I WANT TO BECOME A DOCTOR and I WANT TO HELP THE PATIENTS!!! I WANT TO SEE THEIR SMILEY FACES!!! =)

(P.S : this is the day i nearly faint..haha..XD)

I believe that every job have its own challenges, risks and hardnesses..BUT if we work hard on it..i am SURE that we can go throught every obstacles and achieve the success =)

If doctor is really YOUR CUP OF TEA and if you really have STRONG INTEREST in it..then..u SHOULD just GO AHEAD and DONT LOOK BACK and REGRET in future =)

If you ENJOY THE JOB, you will be HAPPY and FORGET ALL THE HARDNESS and STRESS..
If you KEEP ON COMPLAINING, for sure u WONT BE HAPPY with your job and u will REGRET..

So, BEFORE u step into it and make up your decision, THINK CAREFULLY...

IS IT THE LIFE U WANT IN FUTURE???

So, that is what i had done for the first 2 days of the programme..it is really a very long story as i really learned so many things through this programme..I get to know and get many new knowledges and experiences that i never know before..
For the next three days, i will upload it for the next post..if not this post will be too long dy..haha..XD

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I am so worry and scared..!!!

Oh well, 2day wil b my 3rd day goin 2 hospital..
but i m so worry now..
wakin up tis morning..my head is very heavy..i m very tired..reli..wat happen 2 me???
i m so scared and so worry now..i scare i cant stand it 2day and collapse..
tis is my 1st time feelin so fear and helpless..mayb bcoz of yesterday nearly faintin experience??
OMG..i m reli...scared wif it..
sob sob =( =(
wat should i do??????? >.<

FAINTING......=(

Well..2day at hospital, i reli gained a new experience..
guess wat??!!!
it's not a new experience as a doctor..but it's...
FAINT..lolz..
i almoz faint 2day..but not bcoz of blood, scary, but is bcoz of HOTNESS & TIREDNESS..(the hospital is super hot..the aircon is not functionin!!! wat kind of hospital is tat..in such a stuffy situation how can the patients be comfortable..stupid MALAYSIA..reli "MALAYSIA BOLEH")
well, i dono y..suddenly my eyesight bcomin blur and blur and blur..den suddenly everything in da surroundin bcame black..i couldn't walk properly..i lost my balance..i almoz faint..
it was scary..tis is my 1st time facin tis problem..last time i used 2 see ppl faintin..but 2day i experienced it myself..it wan kinda helpless when u tink u r goin 2 faint..
LUCKILY!! I could stand it..holdin on a fren..i stood firm and quickly walked out from the WAD..and sittin down 2 hav some rest..
and thx lots to my grp frens..esp TEN..thx for carin me and accompanyin me..i appreciate it very much..[thxs TEN for da drinks and choc..thxs..=) u r such a gentleman =) haha]
well..i reli dono y tis thing happened..i m reli doubt bout tis..mayb it's bcoz of low blood pressure or low blood glucose?? i dono y..reli hope tat i won face tis kind of proplems again in future..
from tis, i tel myself i reli hav 2 take good care of myself..if not..how can i help the others????
faintin..reli a scary thing..ishzzz...=(

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

《下一站,幸福》

花费了整整两天,早起,熬夜,终于把这一部台湾偶像剧看完了!!
看了这么多部偶像剧,这一部可说是最感动人心的。起初,听闻别人说这是一部悲剧,使得我连看都不想看。但由于周日过于闲闷了,再加上剧里可爱的小小彬,最终还是看了=)
确实,我简直是一边看,一边流泪,从头到尾,都令人看了留下泪水。女主角与男主角把角色扮演的很好,故事的发展也很棒,使观众的心情随着故事情节起起落落,非常出色!!=)这也难怪它的收视率能如此惊人。
男女主角在这场爱情中经历了艰辛,困苦,悲伤,分离,失忆,愤怒。。但,命中注定的,他们最后还是一家三口幸福快乐地在一起,这真是太棒的结局了!!!哈哈=)=)



有些人的人生,是直达车
有些人却是慢车,中间总要经过许多站,经历许多人。 
有人总是下错站,坐过头,不是错失了窗外风景,就是错过了身旁的人
没有人知道,能陪自己坐到终点站的人,究竟会是谁。
相爱的人,真的就能一路到达人生的终点站吗?
慕橙
一个不知道自己会在哪一站下车,也不敢任意在车上睡着的女孩,
光晞
却是一个只能坐上由司机专车接送到目的地,无法决定自己人生方向的人
这是一个
关于他们的故事

《下一站,幸福》的确是一部值得推荐的偶像剧=)

Friday, March 5, 2010

失望,失落。。

好失望,对你,我觉得好失望。。
为什么要打击我的信心?
为什么不相信我?
我已经下定决心了,可为什么你不支持我?
无论那些人说了什么令人胆怯,害怕的心理准备,可那些因人而异不是吗?
虽然会开始担心,可是我还是想去尝试啊。。
但是你呢?听了他们的言语,也跟着他们。你这样,我对自己也变得没有信心,自信心真的是越减越低了。。
我知道,你是因为担心,害怕,所以一直在帮我寻找更多别的出路,可是我这次真的好想好想根据自己的想法去闯啊。。
未来的路,应该是掌握在我自己的手中不是吗?
伱就这么不放心我,不相信我吗?
中学,你帮我转校。那时我没办法抵抗。只好从最初的反抗到默默地接受。。
虽说转校后,对我自己真的有很多很多的改变。因为转校,我才有现在的成就。
但是你不知道的是,中学生活,对我而言,真的过得不是很开心。。一直好渴望能回到小学,与小学朋友相聚。
再来,营养学课程,也不是我想要的。但是,看见你们一直苦口婆心地劝我,又看见你们对我的期望,我实在忍不下心拒绝。即便不喜欢,我还是勉强接受,只为看见你们开心。
现在,大学之路,你也要为我打点一切吗?
妈,拜托,您的女儿已经长大了。未来,毕竟是属于她自己的,请听听她的意见好吗?
想到哪儿读书,我心里已有一个概念了。
虽然多数的人都不建议并说那条路必定走得很艰辛。
但,与其他学府比较起来,我想那儿是唯一一条最能减轻你们的负担的地方了。
我不想你们因为我的学业而辛苦。
我知道赚钱真的很难很辛苦。
再加上我是家中的老大,学业上与弟弟妹妹们比起来,也真的好很多。
我很想靠自己的双手争取奖学金。
但无法改变的是,医学,真的好难好难。。
你常常叫我改变志愿,给了我种种建议,说医生很辛苦,学费也贵。我曾经想过,但我就是很坚持走这条路。
医生,是我从小的志愿。
小时候,你和爸爸总是叫我长大了要当医生。往往写作文“我的志愿”时,我也铁定写下“医生”。因此,每当有人问起,长大后要当什么呢?我总是回答“医生”。
当然那时,不单单只有我会如此回答,身旁的朋友,占大多数都会有相同的回答。也许是因为那时还小,别人说什么就跟着说什么。简单来说就是”单纯“吧!
但是一直到今天,长大了,我的想法还是没有改变,除了医生,我真的不知道自己还有喜欢什么,还要做什么,兴趣什么。。
虽然在这些年间,接触了更多不同的科目后,有时,还是会改变志愿,例如要做律师啊,生物学家,研究生啊。。但是最终,我还是倒回了原点。所以如今,我能够肯定的是,我已经坚定信念,要通往医生这条路前进了。。
也许,这是命运吧?
妈,学学爸爸,放下心来,听听我的意见,相信你的女儿,好吗?
虽然很多人都给负面的建议,但是,身为母亲,你就不能给我支持与鼓励吗?
我现在,真的很需要你的支持与鼓励,可是你给我的,却是一堆堆的反对,甚至找了更多其他的选择来扰乱我的思绪。。
给我个空间,让我自己好好想想并作抉择好吗?
一旦决定了,虽然真的会很辛苦,但那是必然的啊。
如果那是我自己的决定,不管如何困苦,那我还是会坚持到底的,因为那是我自己所下的抉择。
请相信我好吗?
不要担心太多,我会坚持,我会努力的。
不要再打击我对自己的信心了。。

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~Robert Frost~

这首诗,我相信朋友们应该都知道吧!
去年,在阅读这首诗时,还不觉得什么,只把它当做一首普通的诗,只因考试而读的诗。
如今,在为未来的去向作抉择的时候,脑海里又突然浮现出这首诗。
我现在所面对的,就好比上图的两条路。两条不同的路,带领着我去到不同的世界,不同的生活。
我真的好害怕,好害怕。
我害怕自己会如作者那样,选错了人生的道路,以至自己在将来后悔当初所下的决定。
正如作者所说,一旦我们选择了一条路,那条路就会决定我们的一生并改变我们的生活。
生活是好是坏,往往就决定于那一念之差,哪怕只是个小小的错误,小小的选择,都有可能酿成大祸。正如名句常言:“星星之火,可以燎原”
但同时,我们也知晓,尚若我们因为害怕而不敢踏出那决定性的第一步,那我们不就永远永远只能在原地踏步,毫无任何进步了吗??何不给自己一个尝试的机会,唯有这样,我们才能知道自己是能还是不能啊。
有了尝试,即使失败了,我们也不至于后悔,至少我还能大声地告诉别人:“我尝试过了哦!”
如果连一个尝试的机会都不给自己,那不就很自私,很傻吗?谁也无法知晓那也许就是属于你的命运啊。。

在这重要的关键,我真的希望自己做对了选择,不想再有任何的后悔了。
我要好好地给自己一个足够的空间仔细想想。。
我要勇敢朝着梦想前进!同时也要相信自己并坚定信念!
加油!只要肯努力,就算再困难,再艰辛,终究还是能迎刃而解的!
我希望朋友们也能如此。好好为将来打算并做出最好最棒的决定吧!不要让自己存有任何后悔的空间!
让我们张开梦想的翅膀,努力去创造并打拼一个属于自己的天空吧!!

向左走,还是向右走呢?


很烦,真的很烦很烦很烦。。。
面对一本本的简介书籍,
面对电脑搜寻的一堆堆的资料,
更糟的是,面对那两页的报名表格。
我该怎么办?自今,我仍拿不定主意。
五天了,我围绕在这个问题五天了。
上网找了很多资料,也询问了很多人。资料重复读了又读,看了又看,还是得不到一个结论。
截止日期。。。3月20日
现在。。。3月5日
还有十余天的时间,我就必须做下这人生重大的抉择。
之前,离成绩公布还有好多天,我根本没去理会这么多的事情。但,再过几天后,3月11日,决定一生的SPM成绩就要出炉了。现在的心情真不知该如何形容,带点紧张与不舍。不舍,是因为也许再过不久,就必须离开古晋朝梦想前进了。
如今对我而言,无论成绩是好是坏,那也是无法改变的事实了。未来的去向,才是真正令我心烦焦虑的。。
那个地方,离古晋,离家,好遥远。
我从没奢望去的地方,真会成为我未来的去向吗?
一旦去了,我还会回来吗?
不一样的课文媒体,不一样的生活,高水准的学术水平,不一样的脸孔,不一样的国家,来至世界各地的学子,这样全新的生活,全新的世界,我能适应吗?我能承受那巨大的压力吗?我能胜任吗?
我不懂,我怕,我胆怯。
原本填好的报名表格,我又将它收起。
很矛盾,在去与不去之间,真不知如何是好。
胆怯,害怕,不是因为自己独自一人。
而是怕自己无法与来自各个国家的学生竞争那区区的名额。
尚若失败了,那我的未来又该如何?
未来的事,我们没办法预料。
拿未来做赌注,是我们唯一能够做的。
人生中有许许多多的交叉路口。
每一条路都会引导我们通往不同的地方。
而这条路,就掌握在我们自己的手中。
一旦踏上那旅程,便很难再回头寻找那条路的源头了。即使再苦再累,也只能硬着头皮,咬紧牙关,不停往前,一直到走向尽头。谁叫这是我们自己所选择的道路呢?
我深知现在的问题都出在于敢于不敢,要与不要之间。
也许对于外人,这问题很简单。
但,我相信对于当局者而言,却好比登天更困难。
我真的很烦很烦。。
到底该往哪儿走??
该向左还是向右?
该向东,还是向。。。西呢???? =(